What Exactly is the Criteria to become an Olympic Sport?
Rio 2016 is 2 days away and everyone is preoccupied with Zika and how the city is a festering cesspool of garbage, but my biggest concern is how in the hell most of the sports got added to the Olympics in the first place. Based on the lineup for this summer's Olympics, I literally have ZERO idea what constitutes a sport's worthiness of being labeled 'Olympic.' To illuminate this issue I have compiled a list of sports that have no business being included in the Olympics:
- Synchronized Swimming - There's actually 2 separate competitions - team and duet, which is truly absurd. How do you even get involved in synchronized swimming? Has anyone ever met someone who is a synchronized swimmer? Is there a league?
- Badminton - 5 different competitions. 5. Men's and Women's singles and doubles and mixed doubles... How does a summer lawn game that you can play with a beer in your hand sneak into the Olympics?
- Canoeing - 16 separate competitions! 12 in 'Sprint' and 4 in 'Slalom.' This isn't the summer camp relay races with a smore on the line, this is the goddamn Olympics.
- BMX - What?
- Mountain Biking - Weekend hobbies are not Olympic sports.
- Equestrian - This event is more about the horse than the human, which disqualifies it from being an Olympic sport. Including Equestrian sets a bad precedent - this isn't the animal Olympics, its the HUMAN Olympics. Does the horse even have to be from the country it's representing? Who's keeping an eye on that? Do horses even have citizenship? What's next? Dog shows in the Olympics? If Equestrian qualifies as a sport then dog sledding should be in the Winter Olympics.
- Rythmic Gymnastics - This is the one with the ribbons that requires zero athletic ability so nah, you're out.
- Trampoline - Not exactly sure how this is scored or how you win, nevertheless no one older than 12 should be on a trampoline, period.
- Handball - I literally thought my middle school gym teacher made this game up. Might as well add kickball while you're at it.
- Rowing - 14 events. Rowing has been in the Olympics forever (at least a long time). I just never understood why anyone would get into it. What is the point? And the Vinklevoss' are tools so its time to give it the axe.
- Table Tennis (Ping Pong) - Maybe the biggest joke of all. Pure insanity that a ping pong player can be called an Olympian. How was this approved? I've lost sleep over this. Just an excuse for Chinese Taipei to bring home a medal.
- Weightlifting - Weightlifting shouldn't be considered a sport in a civilized society. We aren't neanderthals, to be considered a sport there should be some semblance of strategy, of thought. Who actually wants to watch some Kazakh mutant experiment dead lift the equivalent of Dodge Caravan?
** Judo/ Taekwondo - Not necessarily against either of these events, but I think they should be consolidated because they're so similar. 22 combined events between the 2 sports is way too many. Pick one or the other. I also don't understand how these two made the cut, but Karate, Jiu Jitsu, and Muay Thai weren't worthy.
I'm not a huge proponent of events like Discuss or Javelin either, but I understand how they were grandfathered in because the ancient Greeks competed in them. The inclusion of the sports above however, is complete and utter nonsense and a mockery of the term 'Sport.' The IOC needs to open their eyes and trim the fat because the Olympics are quietly morphing into a glorified episode of Road Rules.
