So Tim Duncan finally retired this week and I couldn't be happier. We no longer have to watch a 6'11 man make a layup instead of a dunk. It's nauseating how everyone drools over him. How everyone talks about how 'classy' he was, and how he never talked any smack - instead he would offer 'words of encouragement' to his opponents. YUCK. I would be PISSED if that was my legacy. I read that as "Tim Duncan was good at basketball, but he was soft as baby shit."

Why would you ever want a guy like Tim Duncan on your team? I want a guy with a killer instinct, a chip on his shoulder, no matter what the sport. I want someone who, when they line up against you, they want to destroy your soul.

"The Big Fundamental" is legitimately the worst nickname a professional athlete can have. It literally means he's the 'Anti-Swag.' Tim Duncan is boring, period. He's the kind of guy you don't want to get a beer with because he'll judge you for getting a little loose. He must've been the biggest wet blanket in the league. If anyone ever tells you that they enjoyed watching Tim Duncan play, then you should not be friends with that person. It's a red flag that this person isn't fun. You know who the best kind of athletes are? The controversial ones. The world needs more guys like PacMan Jones, Allen Iverson, and Marcus Vick. Guys that don't care about their image. I would take a team of Mike Tyson's if I could - for any sport.

So happy trails Timmy, I bet the rest of your life will be just as dull as your playing days.