NC State Scored 24 Points...Someone needs to Commit an Honor Suicide
In what looks like a misprint, Virginia Tech beat ACC foe NC State 47-24 in a low-octane contest snoozefest two top 25 teams. NC State’s trip to the twilight zone, where they must have believed it was 1909 and the hoops looked like fruit baskets, began with an ugly 14 point first half. After some clever halftime adjustments, the Wolfpack took the floor and put up a whopping 10 spot in the second half to cement their place in annals of sports misery. It’s actually challenging to justify how a D1 college team could only score 24 points in a game in 2018. Especially when you consider that this wasn’t Cal Tech vs Duke, this was a match up between two top 25 teams. I can’t decide if this scoreline more closely resembles a football game or a JV Girl’s high school game. Scoring 24 points in a Division 1 college basketball game isn’t even embarrassing - it’s disgusting. We’re talking about a team judged to be the 23rd best team in the country, comprised of NBA hopefuls, that somehow managed to score less over the course of a full game than what most teams would consider a bad half. I’m not sure why, but seeing the box score evoked a sense of rage and nausea. I’ve never seen such an egregious offensive output before in my life, and, god willing, never will again. I’m not an NC State fan, in fact I have never, at any point in my life, really felt any sort of connection or emotion towards the Wolfpack in any capacity. Besides Jimmy Valvano, they’re a contender for the most unremarkable athletics program in the power 5 conferences. But their utterly pathetic effort against Virginia Tech makes me feel sorry for their fans. I’m shocked they didn’t riot because I know that if my team scored 24 points in a game I would have to at least light a few cars on fire. It actually gets worse too, not only did NC State play historically awful, but they did it at home. It’s difficult to speculate on what was going through the minds of the Wolfpack faithful during that game, but I imagine it was resembled the nausea/rage medley that I experienced, but magnified by a trillion. The level of restraint is must have taken to resist running out on the court and choking the nearest Wolfpack player is admirable. If this game was played in Japan, I’m 90% sure NC State head coach Kevin Keatts would have had to commit an honor suicide at the post game press conference. I always kind of thought the idea of honor suicides was a little barbaric and extreme, if not intriguing, but in this case it seems entirely appropriate. If I was in NC State Athletic Director Debbie Yow’s shoes I would have cancelled the rest of the season (maybe even disband the basketball program), and then plucked the samurai blade from Ketts’ still warm chest and plunge it into my own. In the politically correct world we live in today, the likelihood of an entire basketball team and athletic department committing an honor suicide is gloomily low, so we can only hope that any State fan who was unfortunate enough to be in attendance at least got a refund.
