Copa America Centenario: Peru vs Haiti, a game for gambling degenerates
Overview
You know how the expression “the face only a mother could love” fits so perfectly with footballers like Dirk Kuyt and Carles Puyol? Well, today’s Copa America Centenario match between Peru and Haiti is a game that only gambling degenerates could love…seriously.
What sucks about this matchup, you ask? Pretty much everything except the griminess (you’ll learn I mean that with the utmost affection) of the Haitian player names. Smart move though by the person/people in charge of scheduling the locations of these matches: the match will be played at CenturyLink Field in Seattle, a city infested with bandwagon fans (I mean seriously, how many Seattle Seahawks fans can truly say they were fans before Super Bowl XLVIII?)…hey, maybe they’re hoping thousands of Peruvian and Haitian national team “fans” make their way through the gates tonight to spend money on a game no one really wants to watch.
But seriously, this matchup is as gross as it gets. Neither team sports any impact players playing for major clubs in the top flights in Europe (sorry Jeff Louis and Romain Genevois of Haiti, but your clubs Caen and Nice are never getting a sniff at being considered soccer powerhouses). Furthermore, the majority of the Peruvian national team plies their trade in Peru...ew. Could you even name a Peruvian club? I certainly can’t.
For Betting Degenerates
SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY! What are you thinking? Do you like losing money? There is nothing about either team that should make you feel confident betting one way or the other. Take the over/under, set at 2 goals, for instance. You could assume since both teams lack defensive star power, their back lines will suck, leading to a barnburner 3-2 score. BUT, you need to consider both teams seriously lack offensive star power…is there a single soul out of the 22 starters capable of putting their team ahead?
Advice/Prediction
GAMBLING DEGENERATES: keep your wallets in your pockets for this match…you might as well bet on an under-9 AYSO scrimmage at your neighborhood park if you’re willing to bet on this match. Save your money for Brazil vs. Ecuador. At least if you lose money on that match, it will be on a match of higher quality that you enjoyed watching. Think about this: if you bet on Peru to win (which I would do, IF I had to) and they lose or draw 0-0, how filthy do you feel? Talk about a waste of 2 hours…I feel like I need to shower just thinking about it.
Prediction: 1-0 Peru in arguably one of the top 3 grossest matchups in Copa group play this summer
Best bet: Under 1 goal (1st half)
